So Glad To Be Back At School

Have I mentioned how much I love school today? Except, I did this work for my Substance Abuse Councilling class and forgot it at home on my coffee table! Gah!

My Monday morning meeting was packed to the rafters yesterday. Which was great, of course. The topic was "what would you say to a newcomer and what would you say to someone who has as much time as you do". I said "Just remember what brought you here. Never forget it. Whenever you think of that nice warm, cozy feeling from a couple of drinks or a couple of lines/hits, remember how they left you before you crawled into these rooms." I know that's what keeps me clean and sober and in the rooms.

We had a cookout at the store yesterday. My colon was kind enough to remind me as to why we don't eat burgers, hot dogs or sausages with any regularity. It'll be fruit, veggies and quinoa or brown rice for the next week. I'm trying to embrace my inner colon here. No more dead animals (or animal parts that make up what I ate) for a while.

Til next time...

Six Months Sober, Baby!

That's right, I've got six months! I wasn't always sure I was gonna make it, but I did. I got my chip at the first meeting I ever went two here. It was really nice.

Since I start school tomorrow, I figured I would try out the speech recognition program. I'm trying to avoid having to cut my fingernails. I guess the program's OK. It's a little annoying having to OK every sentence I speak. And it won't select words for me to fix. But so far, as evidenced by what I'm writing, it seems to be doing OK . I don't know if I can write 10 page papers with it, But it should be OK for when my nails are wet. Actually it is getting better and better at understanding me. awww. . . It's like having a new friend to talk to. One I wanna slap the Pratt out of every once in awhile. What the hell is a Pratt . Anyway, now that I'm sober I don't think this slow. So I might have to break down and cut the mails and typed the papers by hand. Mails, huh? Sheesh ! By the way, all errors or from the speech recognition program.

Thanks for let me share .

Good Times...

Ahhh... What a difference three days off from work makes. I love being off so I can cram all the meeting time in. I spent Tuesday in my car for six hours of meeting with a friend. Then went to a meeting when I got back! Course I had less than no desire to share when I got to that meeting after the meeting (I did anyway. Always share for the newcomer I was taught.). But I had to bow out of the dinner after the meeting. I draw the line at 12 hours of AA (no I don't, but I did then). Good stuff.

Didja ever get those moments when you can actually feel the hand of God touching your soul? Like all is good, you go along with the day and all, and There it is! Just this feeling like... I don't know... like "a moment" just happened. Someone says something/you see something/nothing in particular happens but you just "feel" something and you get all misty eyed cos you know you're not alone in life. Whatever... Anyway, I get that alot. Which makes me wonder: did that happen when I was using and I was just too messed up to notice it? Or was my waking up to struggle thru another miserable day the "moment"? Hmmm...

Oh, so, six hours in the car yesterday. Took the Chesapeake Bay Bridge ($17 in tolls! OMG!) and just drove and looked at the water. Nice. Not worth the 17 (having grown up on the water on LI where it was free to get to) but doing a give and take, meeting wise and getting all that fiending crap outta my head was very good. The raw clams and fried shrimp and scallops were priceless! And the seafood shack we went to was all over the Free Tibet/Dalai Lama, which was surprising.
We finished studying the BB at our little book study meeting tonite. On page 152, where it says:

"Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end."

That was SO powerful for me! Cos that Was me, when I crawled back in this time! I wished for the end, and finally found the beginning! OY!

On that happy note, time for beddy-bye.

Oh Yeah... The Finches

Well, the hyper little shits... uh... I mean fuzzy little darlings, are gone. No, I did not shove a toothpick up their asses and char them over the heat of my cigarette. My ex expressed an undying love for the little critters that squawk (incessantly, I might add!) in exchange for his 10 gallon tank of zen like sounds of flowing water. With occupants, of course. "Did I mention Zen-like sounds?" he adds over and over. (I'm a TIBETAN Buddhist, mind you. Not Zen. whatever...)

So, the trade was made. Now I get to fatten up the new bundles of joy (for the frying pan. No?). Such outpouring of unconditional love I've never known. hohum.

Did I mention they're poop-monsters? I'm more than willing to toss one into an envelope and ship to anyone out in internet space. Just tell me where to send it. hehehehehe

Kidding :o)

Sometimes weird stuff happens

I've been thinking about getting finches. Friends say i'm lonely, now that both of my boys have emptied my nest (with some prodding from me). I thought: Ok, maybe I do need a pet I can be attentive to. Let's face it, two fishies in a gallon tank don't send out the "I love you too" vibe alot.

Now, to know me is to know that, after 22 years of nurturing my boys, I'm not looking for alot of work here. I've had times where just turning on the light on the tank for said fishies and tossing in some flakes was more work than I wanted to commit to. But, the new, improved and sober me had some extra time on my hands, so...

Finches. Don't have to walk them and they wont act like queen bitch of the castle that is my apartment like a cat would. Little birdies, on the other hand... How much work could that be?

So, for no reason whatsoever, I'm driving home from work yesterday when I veer into the PetSmart parking lot and park next to a car that looked like a co-workers. I walk into the store to see, you guessed it, my co-worker! Paying for her doggie food! I mention that I was just gonna look at bird cages, she mentions she knows someone who has two male finches for sale (only $15 each!). I buy some food and stuff for them, go back later for a huge cage that's like $50 cheaper than it should be (finches need long cages to fly in cos they don't get out much cos they're so small), and, at 6:30am this morning, my co-worker drops them off and I'm now the proud mommy of two little bundles of nerves! Well, they don't know me yet and all. And I'm not sure they're fans of "New Rock Alternative" music just yet. They'll get used to it, though, I'm sure.

Weird stuff like how I got these guys has been happening since I got sober! Just one perfect alignment of the stars after another! I was craving last night something fierce. Then I got so busy that I forgot that I was craving. Someone's watching out for me, I think. :o)

Till next time...