Yippee! I'm Off!

God, how I love Sundays! I'm off till Thurs night (with school in between). I got my reading done for class on Tues (don't you just hate those cashiers that don't pay attention to you when they're ringing you up? Yeah, well I'm one of those cashiers. mwahahaha Some day I'm gonna blog about what 8 hours of "sign please, hit accept" is like. It's not pretty. Anyway...).

Just finished watching HBO's Black Tar Heroin again. Great documentary (for someone who doesn't have a family member/friend on heroin, that is). Should be required watching for every child. Drugs, obviously, are far too glamorized to kids. They need to see what heroin (and other drugs) really do for you.

Gratitude List:

1. My family - I'm sorry I missed the family get-together in NY today. I don't get home often anymore.

2. Friends in AA - My true friends. Sometimes, when the going gets bumpy, just staying sober cos I'd miss them too much if I didn't is enough to get me over the hump.

3. School - It's great to think that maybe, one day, I just might be able to put the crap I did to good use, to help someone. It makes it not seem like such a huge ugly waste of time (my using, that is).

4. My job - While I do dislike it at times, I do get to sit outside in the beautiful weather and do homework or watch butterflies and bees do what they do so well. Can't hate that!

5. My HP - Without Whom, I would be trudging rather than sauntering thru much better days. If I'd only known it could be like this! (I know, if I'd only known before, I'd still have been a mess cos it wasn't my time yet. I had to do that then to get this now.)

So, on that happy note, I must end this procrastination. I must get some more soda in me and study study study! Hot DAMN, I do soooo love studying! (somewhere in the world, a child heard that and fell off it's chair. hehehe)

So Glad To Be Back At School

Have I mentioned how much I love school today? Except, I did this work for my Substance Abuse Councilling class and forgot it at home on my coffee table! Gah!

My Monday morning meeting was packed to the rafters yesterday. Which was great, of course. The topic was "what would you say to a newcomer and what would you say to someone who has as much time as you do". I said "Just remember what brought you here. Never forget it. Whenever you think of that nice warm, cozy feeling from a couple of drinks or a couple of lines/hits, remember how they left you before you crawled into these rooms." I know that's what keeps me clean and sober and in the rooms.

We had a cookout at the store yesterday. My colon was kind enough to remind me as to why we don't eat burgers, hot dogs or sausages with any regularity. It'll be fruit, veggies and quinoa or brown rice for the next week. I'm trying to embrace my inner colon here. No more dead animals (or animal parts that make up what I ate) for a while.

Til next time...

Yippeeee!!!!

YYEESSSS!!! The pimp-mobile passed inspection! That was, at least, $800 I didn't have to spend in repairs, which is good, cos I didn't have that kind of money anyway. Whoo! Whatta load off the squishy grey-matter! Ahhhhhhhh

Anyway, two stresses down, one to go (work). Or, actually, I've got a new stress. My youngest son, who only works pt, plays ps3 all day, is a slob and brings god knows who home to my ex-husbands house, is in trouble. My ex (who never likes to spare me the stressful shit that goes on in his life) told him (actually, as usual, doesn't discuss but brawls verbally) that he had to get out in a week. Son told him if that happened, he'd break in and trash ex's stuff. Hmmm... I'll be calling the boy, explain what making a threat means, legally, and tell him that I'm cutting him out of my life till he gets a ft job and his own place. It's always he said/he said with those two tho. What fun! Thank God I'm not pmsing!

I shared about the job thing at a meeting last night. All I can do tho is pray on it and leave it for God to take care of. Just like the ticket, just like the car inspection. Just like probs with my kids. I have no control. Life is so much easier when I just remember that.

Taking a meeting to a womans rehab tonite. Should be fun to look in that mirror of suffering to remind me of how far I've come. Thank God!

What to do...

Yeesh! When I chose to trade in my high-stress job as scheduler (mon to fri, 8a to 5p) for the less stressful job as garden head cashier, it was for the perk of thu-sun, 8a to 7p (4-10hr days). Since we were over hours, store wise, there was a sign over the time clock asking for any full timers to cut to 32 hrs. I offered.

Well, a month later, they wanna reneg on the 4-10 hr days to full flex (any shift, from 5:45 am to 10:30 pm, mon to sun). They act like they did me a favor by letting me go to 32 hrs. So, there goes my meetings and commitments. I know, with me, no meetings = no sobriety. If I want a set schedule, they offered for me to go part time, which means they can schedule me only 6 hrs a week. Hmmm... right. We're gonna talk about it when I get to work on Thurs. Something to look foward to, huh?

Adding to that is my resentment towards a "friend" in the rooms who chewed me out last Saturday at a meeting cos I called her to see how another friend was seen in a bar the night before by my sponsor and she accused me of gossiping. I said "No, it wasn't gossiping. It was concern." Well, it turns out it was her in the bar. She shared about it at that meeting, which I missed cos, heart pounding, I said "Fuck this!" and walked out. (this was before the meeting/no one else was there) So, I get home and that "friend" was nice enough to text me that if I needed a meeting, I could come back! Argh!

Anyway, that, plus I had to go to court today for a speeding ticket (I really have to stop drinking so much coffee!), having to take my car in for an inspection tomorrow (which I don't think it will pass and I can't afford to have it fixed) and the job thing... well... I'm stressed. But, I called my sponsor, shared it at meetings and will continue to pray on it. I'm sure God has a plan. Which make one of us!

Venting, venting, venting. Give it up... Turn it over... Keep it simple... Buy doughnuts... oh, uh, oops? ahem

Onward and Upward!