Has it been 10 days already??

I no sooner uttered a promise to myself that I was gonna hit this thing daily that I stopped. Boy, but this school/work combo is kicking my old patootie! Wonder if I can stop working... hmmm... I guess as soon as I get over this habit I have of eating and sleeping on soft cushy things. And, well, there is smoking. I'd give up sleeping on soft cushy things before I give that up.

So's I don't forget my excitement of today, I'll scribble it down now. You're welcome. :o)

I got my internship set up for next semester. I'm so excited! I didn't even call for an interview anywhere other than this place, cos this is where I had my heart set on doing it. It's called The Healing Place and it's over in Richmond. It's a treatment center for men. Here's the link to a short video about the place that's on their website:

http://www.thpva.com/video.htm

I got to sit in on their community meeting this morning where they come clean about things they did wrong to the group. Things like "I fell asleep on the job" or "I didn't get my writing assignment done" or "I got angry at so and so" etc. It was great. They had openings for various positions where they voted (very democratically) on certain candidates and such. Sat in on classes, took a very long tour and then had lunch with my new buddy Richard (he's one of the teachers in the video). They all love that I'm in recovery and treated me like a little sister when they found out that I only have 7 months clean and sober. :o) They want me to come back before my internship starts in January. I'm gonna try working it out so I can help out on Wednesdays. Between that and school, I'll only have time to work fri-sun. Can you say "starving student"? I know I can! Well, there ya go. That's my life in a nut shell. Full time school, meetings, barely working. Fun huh? Better than full time working/full time drinking! I'm less tired now than I was back then.

And, while I'm thankful I got my 5 page paper done for English Comp, reliving 9/11 and how it affected me sucked worse than I thought it would. Hopefully I'll get to tuck that nightmare back into the deep dark recesses for another 7 months. I'm done with reliving that shit for now.

On that happy note, I swear I'll be back again soon.

Yippeeee!!!!

YYEESSSS!!! The pimp-mobile passed inspection! That was, at least, $800 I didn't have to spend in repairs, which is good, cos I didn't have that kind of money anyway. Whoo! Whatta load off the squishy grey-matter! Ahhhhhhhh

Anyway, two stresses down, one to go (work). Or, actually, I've got a new stress. My youngest son, who only works pt, plays ps3 all day, is a slob and brings god knows who home to my ex-husbands house, is in trouble. My ex (who never likes to spare me the stressful shit that goes on in his life) told him (actually, as usual, doesn't discuss but brawls verbally) that he had to get out in a week. Son told him if that happened, he'd break in and trash ex's stuff. Hmmm... I'll be calling the boy, explain what making a threat means, legally, and tell him that I'm cutting him out of my life till he gets a ft job and his own place. It's always he said/he said with those two tho. What fun! Thank God I'm not pmsing!

I shared about the job thing at a meeting last night. All I can do tho is pray on it and leave it for God to take care of. Just like the ticket, just like the car inspection. Just like probs with my kids. I have no control. Life is so much easier when I just remember that.

Taking a meeting to a womans rehab tonite. Should be fun to look in that mirror of suffering to remind me of how far I've come. Thank God!

What to do...

Yeesh! When I chose to trade in my high-stress job as scheduler (mon to fri, 8a to 5p) for the less stressful job as garden head cashier, it was for the perk of thu-sun, 8a to 7p (4-10hr days). Since we were over hours, store wise, there was a sign over the time clock asking for any full timers to cut to 32 hrs. I offered.

Well, a month later, they wanna reneg on the 4-10 hr days to full flex (any shift, from 5:45 am to 10:30 pm, mon to sun). They act like they did me a favor by letting me go to 32 hrs. So, there goes my meetings and commitments. I know, with me, no meetings = no sobriety. If I want a set schedule, they offered for me to go part time, which means they can schedule me only 6 hrs a week. Hmmm... right. We're gonna talk about it when I get to work on Thurs. Something to look foward to, huh?

Adding to that is my resentment towards a "friend" in the rooms who chewed me out last Saturday at a meeting cos I called her to see how another friend was seen in a bar the night before by my sponsor and she accused me of gossiping. I said "No, it wasn't gossiping. It was concern." Well, it turns out it was her in the bar. She shared about it at that meeting, which I missed cos, heart pounding, I said "Fuck this!" and walked out. (this was before the meeting/no one else was there) So, I get home and that "friend" was nice enough to text me that if I needed a meeting, I could come back! Argh!

Anyway, that, plus I had to go to court today for a speeding ticket (I really have to stop drinking so much coffee!), having to take my car in for an inspection tomorrow (which I don't think it will pass and I can't afford to have it fixed) and the job thing... well... I'm stressed. But, I called my sponsor, shared it at meetings and will continue to pray on it. I'm sure God has a plan. Which make one of us!

Venting, venting, venting. Give it up... Turn it over... Keep it simple... Buy doughnuts... oh, uh, oops? ahem

Onward and Upward!