Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I'll Always Think Fondly Of 2008...

... cos, after all the times that I tried to get sober, this was the year that I finally did it! And, theres school too. And happiness. And healthiness. And blogging.

And I have God back in my life.

I'm sorry alot of people are suffering because of the state of the economy. But, like I keep saying, it was about time that we got less dependent on money and more dependent on ourselves for fun, entertainment and overall mental good health.

I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful 2009. Including me. :o)

Monday, December 29, 2008

Time For New Years Resolutions

Some people tell me to keep this simple but, really, I got clean and sober and back into school. What more do I really want out of life? Well, I'll tell ya:

New Years Resolutions:

1. Exercise and healthy eating - I've spent the last 10 months basking in the glory of meetings and school without getting my lazy butt into exercising while consuming massive quantities of soda and crap. Time to stop all that. I'm sluggish from too much caffeine and sugar. I'm terribly out of shape (and I'm 47, so I really feel that). So:
  • Quit soda and coffee.
  • Get back into Ashtanga Yoga
  • Get back onto treadmill
2. Work on quitting smoking - My dad died when he was 57 and my mom at 67. Bad eating, no exercise and smoking/drinking were the culprits. I've always been healthy minded, even when using, but those were half hearted attempts at best. Like a junkie who's afraid of being dope sick so they stay on the dope, I continue to smoke for fear of suffering the inconvenience of withdrawal. Well, it's time to mature up and get over it. I'm out of breath most of the time and have a cough I can't shake.

3. Give up meat - Fish is ok (salmon, tuna, sardines, etc). My cholesterol is high. Nuff said. Veggies/fruit are the way to go.

4. Work on my "program" in a less haphazard fashion.

5. Strive for structure in my life - where there is none whatsoever. I sleep when I want, wake when I want, I live "on the fly" all the time. Hard to stick to the above mentioned plan, living like that. This should be as difficult as quitting smoking.

Ok, there ya have it. My plan for 2009. Not so much to work on, hmmm? I've got the gym equipment, the yoga matt/dvd's/books, 2 weeks worth of nicotine replacement patches, lotsa fish and veggies in the freezer, meeting lists and calendars galore. All that's needed is motivation. We'll see how that goes. Till then, I'm finishing all the ice cream and cookies in the house. mmmm...

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas!

What a wonder! I'm sober and the only hangover I have is from the massive quantities of caffeine I drink. Live is truely a wonder.

I am grateful for:

1. Having God back in my life
2. Ten months of sobriety (lawdy lawd, what a gift!)
3. Sober friends a person could only dream of having
4. My family, sober for the most part (found out my heroin addicted brother is on suboxone for the last year. Sweet! Baby steps...)
5. School (yippee!)
6. The food I'm gonna eat in a couple of hours (I'm running late, as usual)
7. The friends I've met thru this blog
8. Still having a job while most dont
9. My wonderful children
10. Another day above ground!

You all have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

And The Grades Are In...

Firstly, I'm nearing being very sick of crocheting. I've just finally finished making a blanket for the hubby and two last gift ideas for the boys: scarves. I think I'm done for a while (as I plan on starting blankets for the boys).

I decided to pop in a few vids to get me in the mood to hammer thru this crocheting. And what did I watch most of the day, you wonder? Well, after Jesus Christ Superstar and 5 hrs of Jesus of Nazareth to get me in the holiday/Jesus mood, I then watched 5 more hours of EC F'n W!! Hardcore wrestling is nothing without ECW, I tells ya! There is nothing like a cheesegrater across the forehead to make you feel you're alive, ya know? Excellent violence there. :o)

And, you ask? So what are the grades? 4 A's, baby! My GPA is 4.0!!! No stress on keepin that up, huh? hahaha Freakin astounding, I tell ya. And I thought I was far too fried to get even a C. Lotsa pride, interspersed with a healthy dose of humility, I assure you. God is Great!

Since I could never impress, with words, just how I'm feeling about this, I'll not try. Suffice it to say, I'm pleased.

Another hour of hardcore ECW blood, gore and violence and then I'm off to beddy-bye. Sleep well all!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Schools Out

Ahhhh I made it through my first semester. Yippee! That was fun! Now it's time to get back to some serious blog commenting. I've been shirking my duties for a while, for which I feel sufficient guilt. Hopefully, it's out of the lurking shadows and back into the commenting light.

Hmmm... what's been going on. Not much, other than school, meetings and barely working. My job said if I stop with my classes and meetings, I can go back to full time. I'm not sure if asking me to give up my education and sobriety is legal or not, but when they fought my ability to get unemployment, I felt tempted to find out. I've just been too busy to start anything. That and I'm just not in a place, mentally, to fight anyone. I used to be, when I was using. A friend said that I was letting people walk all over me by not fighting back, but I don't see it that way. God has been providing for me since I got sober (and before that) so, if it's His will that I fight this, then I will. But I feel that this cut back is His way of my gently separating myself from something that used to be my entire life for 5 yrs. The deeper I get into school and the glory that is my sobriety, the less tolerance I have for my job and the petty crap that goes along with that. Ah well, no biggie. I can still pay my rent and still eat, so I'm not worried.

I must comment about something that happened the other day. I watched television. The first time in 10 months. And, I've gotta tell ya, it was not good. I watched a Sesame Street special and some show called Life. Between the commercials and the way the shows were laid out, I felt like I'd been repeatedly slapped about the head with a heavy, wet, slimy fish (what's with me an fishies lately?). Well, needless to say, I wont be repeating that little experiment anytime soon. I saw that I've not missed anything by remaining tv free. I did notice that the idea of "the last time I did this, I was drinking" did pop into my head. Not a comfortable feeling.

Anyway, I've got an hour before I have to show back up at (ugh) work. Until then, keep warm and try and drag your favorite set of lips over to the mistletoe. :o)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I Killed My Fish!

:sob: I finally decided to clean the fish tank and change the filter unit, cos it had died. A half hour later, I see out of the corner of my eye something that looks like a little water balloon in the tank. It was the big silverfish, floating. Upon closer inspection I saw two other fish, dead, and two dying. I had to sit down and work up the courage to start taking the dead out. I just cannot relate how horrible that was. I'm not well with death on a good day. This was just so sudden.

Of course, since I didn't feel bad enough, I thought I'd call my ex, the "dry" alkie, since they were his to begin with. I'm sure, now that I think of it, I could have called someone else who might have made me feel worse about it. Fortunately, a more insensitive bastard doesn't come to mind. He was nice enough to tell me several times just how much I ruined his night.

I'm not sure what happened, but I'll just have to pick up (after this last poor fishie finally gives it up, poor guy)and scrub the tank clean and start all over again. I guess. I'm still leaning towards plastic plants instead of living creatures.

Poor little fishies. :o(

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Who Ordered The Frost??

Lawdy Lord! Twenty-six degrees out there this morning! Almost makes me think it's too cold to smoke outside! Nah, that's a lie. Never too cold to smoke at work. It's almost a necessity to smoke at work!

Isn't life wonderful? I mean, really. I saw the sunrise this morning at work. It was just beautiful. It's a great day to be alive and sober, isn't it? Yes it is.

The company Christmas party is this Sunday. Should be a hoot. Lots of food and hangin with the homies. Lots of prizes etc but I'm there for the food, thanks. I'm bringing my baby boy, who was my guest last year as well. The boy turns the big 20 on Saturday! He thinks he's having a blowout at his dad's house while his dad is at work but, hopefully, his dad will be home. Not my issue, though.

While I wasn't thrilled about having my hours cut at work, I have easily fallen into the life of a part-timer here. I have things I want to do today so, of course, I'm getting my procrastination on and I'm here blogging instead of decorating. I'm gonna do it tho, decorate that is, as soon as I'm done here. I swear I am. And then study for finals.:o)

Alright, alright, I guess I've gotta get started. I'm gonna dig out some holiday music and string dem lights. Yippee! ::or take a nap::

See ya!